Leveling Up
I spent part of many weekends when my now 8 year old was younger, playing Mario Bros. I had grown up playing Mario Bros., and my husband was traveling many weekends, so naturally, my son and I bonded during this time via star coins, mushroom blocks, and 1-ups. There was always a boss to battle in the middle of each level, as well as the end. The ultimate boss was Bowser, and he was reserved for the battle of battles - at the end of the last level. Naturally, you were supposed to use and build on the skills learned in each level to help with the next, each progressively harder.
As I've reached 40 years of my life, I've realized that in my spiritual life, there are a lot of things I missed in the earlier "levels." Furthermore, I've learned that a lot of people who can't find answers just kind of give up. This wasn't encouraging for me in my walk, to say the least, as I was trying to go deeper and live from a place of victory, and then somehow show the hope of my salvation to the world around me. The scripture here in Hosea (4:6) comes to mind: "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge . . ." Destroyed is not a pleasant word, and honestly, neither is the rest of that verse. It's easy to skim over those words and shrug our shoulders.
The word knowledge there, from Strong's Concordance, means perception and even skill. It also means discernment, understanding, and wisdom. The word destroyed in the same reference means to cease or cause to cease, cut off, or perish. This brings to remembrance John 10:10, where Jesus says a thief comes with one collective goal in sight: to steal, kill, and destroy. If Jesus doesn't want us destroyed, then he must want us to have knowledge, so that we aren't able to be destroyed. But what if you have about 20 things on your list you need wisdom for, and you needed it yesterday? Been there? I am validating for you that we all have been there. Some things I have received amazing answers for, and some are still playing out. But I am encouraging all of us to press in even more and know that God is for us and wants us victorious. Any voice that says otherwise doesn't know the heart of the Father and is a deceptive, lying voice.
Then, the most important thing I have learned is that Jesus is the answer. He's the way, who split the veil for us, so that we could have direct access to our Father, who is LIFE. God is everything we need, which often starts with rest - an easy yoke to bear; a sloughing off all things that just do NOT matter. God is I AM, everything we need, which includes all knowledge. How far I've come to be able to type that from my heart! Though I grew up in church and learned that "having a devotional time" with Jesus was important, I didn't learn how to depend on God as my very sustenance, experientially. I heard people talk about how this was possible, but I didn't know what it meant. I am still learning fully and more deeply what this looks like, and it's fantastic!
Which brings me to this. There came a time in my adult life when God gave me a double dream about leveling up. What do I mean by a double dream? I mean I had two dreams that resembled the same content...which I have learned is a way that God personally speaks with me. I'll break it down. But first, I want to point out that I was feeling very discontent with life during this point in time. I was basically working myself ragged at work, at home, and within myself in my thoughts, and I knew I was not living a free and victorious life. Holy Spirit began to get my attention. I was crying out for wisdom and change, and he answered and little by little, began to walk me out. And he still is doing this today, as I know he is (and will) for many of you!
In the first dream, I had made spaghetti noodles and meatballs for dinner in a big pot. Other than me calling my kids down to eat dinner, the dream was just looking down into this pot. To digress a bit, we do eat spaghetti a good bit, but we never make meatballs. I'm telling you that so that, if you're learning how God speaks through your own dreams, you can maybe glean some revelation for yourself as you understand my perspective. When something sticks out as odd to you, there is a very good chance it's for a reason. For me, it's like God gently tapping me on the shoulder saying, "Hey, pay attention to this." In this case, the spaghetti was different than I would make it. We always have meat and veggies all mixed in as a yummy sauce. So, the noodles and meat were separated for a reason, as a symbolic message.
I realized my kids had served themselves, taking the noodles, but leaving the meatballs.
The second dream was the next night, if I'm remembering correctly. (My journals are locked up in storage currently.) I was keeping a baby for someone, and since my children have not been that little in a good while, it's like I forgot I would have to feed this baby so often. I was coming to the realization that this child needed a bottle, and right after that, I realized the bottle needed to be warmed. There were so many steps compared to just calling my kids and saying, "It's ready," to where they served themselves.
What is the significance of these two encounters? They were a double message to me about my kids, because I had been praying fervently about a way to homeschool at the time, and asking if that was even the correct choice for us. Even though our public school experiences were good and blessed in many ways, I felt there wasn't much time for in depth instruction into teaching who God was, his word, or even what it means to be part of a family, like helping with cooking or taking out trash. And then play time as a family was very limited. We were just busy and rushed with things that didn't feed our soul, like many American families. And quite frankly, I had been feeling we needed a reset.
So, these dreams were a testament that my kids did need instruction, they were still on milk, and they weren't going to take the (spiritual) meat without my making sure they did.
There were also other messages in these dreams. It was for me as well. I'm so glad I'm writing this now, with some perspective looking back. God really is so amazing, and he's often doing so many things at once. My soul was really dry during this time. I had lost half my hair, and we were all dealing with some sort of medical issue, and I was wiped. I was needing to be nurtured back to health in my soul and body, and I also needed further training to become who God was calling me to be. So I believe that the baby was also symbolic of my soul in a way, because God had shown me I was in a period of rebirth. (That story is for another post some day.)
And lastly, God showed me over the next few years that this message was for our entire family. We had always walked with God, but he was calling all of us to a new level, and he was confirming it through all four of us in different ways. It's neat to watch God work, and then it's super neat to watch your kids see Him work. God amazingly and sweetly lead us to a community - which I had also been desperately crying out for before God - that could help us with getting the "meat" we needed for training and going to the next level.
I believe there are people in the body of Christ who are desperate for the truth and knowledge of God; they want meat. But they just haven't always been taught how to press in, seek out, wrestle, and war, holding their sword while also resting with their head on Jesus' chest, which is the most important part. So how do you level up if you don't know how?
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to begin crying out to God. Especially if you honestly know that you've lost hope and don't truly believe God cares if your situation changes. You have to challenge that voice, because it's not true. Dare yourself to trust again and begin crying out. Or you may already be doing this before the Lord, and I am here to validate for you that he hears you and if you can sense you need more order and a deeper walk, God wants those things for you more than you do. Also, seek God on the right community. Who you walk in covenant with affects every aspect of your life.
Going forward, I am going to share some of my personal testimony of how God has walked me through a lot of this step by step, in hopes of helping other people. And, most importantly, it's out of obedience. And then, as our family still is moving into a season of reordering and leveling up, being trained more deeply, I will share some of what we learn.
Be blessed! Until next time...
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